Your twenties are often billed as the best years of your life. The time in which you can enjoy the privileges of adulthood without quite so many of the responsibilities. Most twenty somethings have a job and a modicum of disposable income, without the responsibilities of marriages, mortgages and kids. At least that’s the theory. By the time we come to our mid to late twenties we are met with a stark realisation… Friends lied to us. We don’t get to spend our every waking moment sipping lattes and chatting with our friends, our day job demands far more of our time, effort and energy than we’d been led to believe and we’re faced with constant pressure to climb the career ladder and the property ladder simultaneously like some sort of mad spider.
In the face of this, and as we see more and more of our friends, buying houses, getting engaged and *gasp* having babies, it’s not uncommon to feel frustrated and filled with self loathing at the prospect of staying where we are. We can feel like we’re stagnating or missing out on opportunities that will give us financial security in our later years. But put a pin in your self-loathing because there are many reasons why, at this time of your life, renting is the better option…
Renting keeps you free
Most millennials will have around a dozen jobs between the ages of 18 and 48. The changing face of the job market means that twenty somethings are much more likely to relocate to pursue new opportunities than their parents. Obviously, this is much harder to do with a mortgage. You don’t want to wind up kicking yourself because a golden opportunity passed you by because you were saddled to your property.
You’re not yet ready to settle down
One of the great things about your twenties is that you likely spend them in a range of different jobs and homes, re-inventing yourself as you go. Over this time you will learn things about yourself and your preferences that will inform the kind of home you opt for when you feel that the time is right to make that commitment. So long as you can cover your rent and your Lemonade home insurance payments, you’re sorted. Owning your own home comes with lots of extra costs that renters don’t necessarily consider as well as tying you down to a property that you may feel very differently about in a few years’ time.
Rent is not dead money
It’s a common fallacy for people to suggest that renting a home is dead money, and that all you’re doing is paying off someone else’s mortgage. The truth is that your rent payments go towards giving you shelter and the comforts of home. Besides, the prospect of owning property (especially if you live in London) is pretty far beyond what can be realistically expected of most people in their twenties.
Twenty somethings have an unfortunate habit of looking at the big 3-0 as the end of their lives. The truth is that your thirties are almost identical to your twenties. There will be many opportunities to settle down, but you must do so for the right reasons for you.
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We all have those months that are especially difficult and hectic for one reason or another. At the end of it all, we all deserve something special as a reward for getting through it all. With that in mind, here are three things to treat yourself to after a busy month.
A spa day means having a relaxing day where you are pampered and take care of you all day. You can have various treatments including massages and scrubs. Whatever you enjoy the most or that you feel will be the most beneficial you can do during your day at the spa. However, you don’t just need to get treatments. Relaxing in a hot tub, taking a swim or sitting in the sauna can help the stress and worry of the week melt away. If you enjoy the spa day experience, then you arrange it more often. Sometimes things like this are even better if you have somebody with you to experience them alongside. You might decide to bring your partner or a friend to enjoy and relax in a spa day with you.
Eating out is one of those things that almost everyone enjoys. There is something really nice about being cooked for and not having to do the dishes afterwards. There are so many choices of restaurant that you can go back to an old favorite or try something new. No matter what your favorite type of food is, there is a restaurant that can accommodate that and then provide an excellent meal for you. A meal out is best enjoyed with friends and loved ones. You might want to do with your partner or someone else that you are close with. You can talk, enjoy the food and let the stress and worry of the month drop away. You can buy this on your 0 APR credit cards so that you don’t have to worry about paying for it until the following month. A meal out can become a regular and fun thing to do each month and make for a great way to treat yourselves for all of your hard work.
Buy Yourself Something Nice
Another thing you can do to treat yourself for a busy month, is to buy yourself something nice. There are probably things that you want, but you can’t justify at other times during the month. This might be because you don’t have time to fully enjoy whatever it is, or you don’t feel you can afford it. In either case, you should be allowed to treat and reward yourself. Buy yourself some cinema tickets and go watch that movie you have been looking forward to. Buy those shoes that you loved the look of so much; they might be perfect for one occasion or another. As long as you don’t go overly wild and put yourself in the red, then you should feel like you can treat yourself and allow the buying and enjoying of whatever you have bought let the stress of the month fall away. You are a busy, hardworking person and you deserve to have something nice every now and again.
As 98% of festive songs tell us, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. It’s 24-plus days of fun, frolics, family, friends, merriment, good tidings, festive parties and cheer. But it is also a time of some super-stress, the kind that starts out kind of unnoticeable and then snowballs into total uncontrollable freaking out as you try and make everything perfect on the big day.
So, to prevent stress from wreaking havoc this year, we have pulled together some top tips that will guarantee to make Christmas day nothing but enjoyable.
1. A Fresh Take
We know what it’s like, Christmas is all about traditions, which means you want to do certain tasks in certain ways. But you don’t have to. Instead of hitting your head against the wall as you try and tackle that one task that always drives you nuts, make a change. If you hate making Christmas dinner, especially because every year you have a different theme and this year is Italian, get caters in and for the best catering, party platters and banquets, look no further than Illiano’s for the best Italian food. If it is just getting your Christmas cards done, why not enlist the help of your entire family bu a) splitting the list or b) getting creative with a family photo.
2. Less Pressure, Please
Perfection is not real. It isn’t. It is subjective and, in terms of Christmas, also temporary. Instead, you should be happy with good enough. You don’t have to top last year’s efforts and you don’t need to go bigger than your next-door-neighbor. Just be happy with your efforts. Take your Christmas tree; it’s just an evergreen shrub, so there’s no need to have one flown in from the wilds of Quebec.
3. Take A Break From Tradition
We’ve touched on traditions once above, and we’re touching on them again. Why? Because if they are causing stress then give them a break. Let’s say you go and watch the Rockettes every Christmas (because it’s tradition), but your kids are kicking and screaming about it, then try something new. Traditions are only fun if you all find them fun. We all change, so adapt to any change instead of stressing yourself out.
4. Keep A Lemon With You
No matter what task you are taking on, make sure you have a lemon on you. This may sound mental and, no, it isn’t a metaphor for making lemonade, it’s because science proves lemony scents improve our mood. So, when you feel yourself getting stressed, either sniff a lemon or pop into a department store and ask to try their most lemony fragrance.
5. Stay True Daily
We all have daily rituals we cling onto for dear life as a way of relaxing and unwinding. It could be reading for half an hour before bed, or curling up on a chair and plugging into Spotify for an hour or any number of things. Whatever it is, don’t give it up just because it is Christmas. These everyday rituals of ours help centre us and keep us calm, so keep them up.
The 24/7 modern news cycle often gives us pause for thought. If you watch enough of it, you may come to the impression that the world is in an immense sense of chaos, and this can subtly inform your attitude on a daily behavioral level. When you feel as though the world is suffering, it can be hard to see the value of progressing well in life. Not only this, but your natural sense of worry on a macro sense can make you feel a constant sense of worry, and that can permeate everything you do.
The solution? Prioritizing your peace of mind. Peace of mind is something we all wish we could have, but many life circumstances occur to keep us away from this prized destination, at least it seems like it. However, despite the ‘why’ of your daily living and your worry, you can always improve the ‘how,’ as in the methodology and attitude through with you approach the world. Perception is everything, but it would be a mistake to think that opinions can radically alter the world around you. There are many complex factors which determine your societal and personal context, and so using the best attitude to change, you can help yourself improve your life and go after this sought-after peace of mind.
What can peace of mind offer you? Well, to begin with, it gives you the space necessary to focus on what truly matters in your life, and in the meantime give you a clear thought process to approach those solutions. It mind be expressed in pausing for thought before you come back with a cutting comment in response to a conversation, or might help you play down your negative habits and prioritize the good. As Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs described, Human Beings have a select tier of needs they must achieve before they are able to become self-actualized.
This is likely sounding attractive. We’d like to offer you the following tips to help you prioritize peace of mind, and experience the benefits for yourself.
Your finances are the backbone of your daily living. People who live paycheck to paycheck often feel this sense of urgency, as doing without much cash for a period can make you feel desperate, worried, or simply leave you in an unprepared state for when an emergency comes around. If you know you’re going to be short for a holiday or anniversary season, or you’re simply having trouble paying off your debts, these issues can all affect your daily thinking, and most significantly, your daily living.
Limited finances, even if you’re in a job, can limit how well you perform in your life. For example, if you aren’t putting money aside for good nutrition, you will feel lethargic and without energy, which will only serve to decrease your performance elsewhere in your responsibility charting.
For this reason, saving well, even if it’s tight, should be a priority. Make sure you have a good $300 in your savings accounts at any one time at least. If you don’t have this, make sure you place small contributions to it as often as possible when income comes your way. Ideally, you need a month of wages saved on the backburner in case you need an extended leave of absence from your work, but this isn’t viable for everyone. If you’re short of cash to pay for food or bills one week, you should identify when your next income will be while applying for payday loans online, and then mitigate the repayments with savings from your next paycheck.
Don’t be afraid to rely on the bank of friends, but remember this is a slippery slope and missing repayments can have dire consequences on your friendship. Good financial sense is almost always a preventative measure, but selling items or applying for payday loans can always help you out of a pickle. Conversely, applying the right insurance to your home or personal requirement can help you feel covered if the worst was to happen. This is also wise if your career relies on something singular. For example, if you make your living as a sought-after writer, insuring your hands can help with a big payout if something was to happen to impeded your working potential.
The chaos and needs of different people can often come between the positive relationship between two parties. However, and you’ll learn this more and more as you age, life is too short for this form of drama. If you have difficulties holding your tongue in trying social situations, or you find your temper often comes between you and the positive resolution of certain social issues, you will quickly find yourself in social chaos, and it will continue indefinitely.
Be quick to forgive and apologize, even if the issue wasn’t your fault. If encountering someone you believe to be toxic, such as a girlfriend or boyfriend using underhanded techniques to manipulate you, simply take the higher road and limit contact without giving a reason. Many people become addicted to drama, and this takes a massive toll on their mental health and peace of mind. Remember, the world is a big place, and there is so much out there you can achieve, so spending the time polishing your social pain is time wasted. Make the most out of your time on this Earth by searching for positive people, people who are inspired and encouraged, and only want to see the same for you.
This is not insignificant. As many people often say, no man or woman is an island. You are often the culmination of your 5 best friends with your own personality thrown in, and if these people are continually supportive and interested in your combined growth, you will blossom like never before. The climate in which you experience life with your social contacts makes up the content of your life. Don’t be afraid to push away people who have no positive bearing on your life, in order to welcome positive people closer. As you get older and become wiser, you will find that the quantity of your friendships decreases, but if you do it right, the quantity will go up.
Peace of mind is often the opposite of what people think it is. Peace of mind is not the loss of content or challenge. It is not relaxing all day in front of the television, with the perfect nutrition, perfect safety and home you love. Those things can help, but they do not provide peace of mind on their own. What really helps is the knowledge that you are moving forward in your life. This informs your approach to challenge, and will mature you as a person. As you move through the world, you are either in two states. Either you are getting better in some capacity, or you are stagnating. This isn’t to say that you need to achieve wondrous feats of amazing and historical action before you can earn your relaxation time. It simply means that you need to find a purpose to keep you in a stable routine and keep you safe in the knowledge that you have everything to live for.
People who forget this fact will often become prone to depression or anxiety because the roots of their basic necessity aren’t being met. Millions of years of evolutionary success, societal growth and achievement attitudes nurtured in humanity will not go away simply because the division of labor was invented. No matter the size, you need a goal, and you need to work at it in whatever capacity you can. With this, you will find yourself becoming more refined as an individual, and moving through life with this in mind can give you everything to live for.
With your purpose and your orientation properly identified and progressed towards, you will find that life becomes worth living. You will mind that even in the most difficult of circumstances, you will be able to meet challenges with humility. There are people who meet challenge everyday who are so used and capable to handle it that they are peaceful and collected in its presence. There are people with adequate savings to prevent their job necessity, who do nothing everyday and feel a sense of existential despair that can often develop into mental illness. Your purpose defines who you are, and if you do it right, can gift you peace of mind.
Your peace of mind is not insignificant. Someone who has it will be much more likely to exercise restraint, will know themselves on a deeper level, and will be able to meet the challenges of life knowing that they have only their attitudes and perceptions to worry about. Someone who takes the time to look after their aforementioned needs will also become more adept at empathizing and connecting with others, something which is vital to develop a life well lived.
With these tips, you will find that peace of mind is within reach, and it will allow you to redefine the troubles of your past and become more comfortable in your skin.